Where did the Time go?

 

My last blog was over a month and a half ago which seems like a lifetime. Just getting started again took some effort but here we are. How quickly the time had passed for me thinking about a lot of things. One of which is time management which I thought was the reason for my inability to meet my weekly blog publish target. 

I had started on a new project that was quite technical and was trying to finish it before going on holiday but had ended up burning out and writing it whilst on holiday. It also meant I couldn't write any blog posts or do much with my succulent plant business. It was frustrating not being able to do anything else with so many deadlines looming and expectations and responsibilities that I found myself getting depressed again and longing to be back on my pills to cope. It also reminded me that I needed my psychologist more than ever and if I wasn't careful I would fall hard. 

This is a good lesson on mental health folks, it's a continuous journey and it is important to remember that. I am not as fast as I used to be with the ability to multitask like a pro. I am slower and working on rebuilding my confidence while embarking on several new journeys so I need to be kinder to myself but also experiment with what might work for me. One of which is setting out every task on my Google Calendar so that each day I can achieve at least four things and keep building myself up in time.

I will also never take on work before a holiday again and overestimate my abilities. Luckily I did a good job on that book but I endeavor to work at a more relaxed pace without competing priorities. That and more regular work which might sound like a contradiction but I assure you that for me, having that option is vital to my independence and for building up my freelance skills in the long term. Sitting around and waiting is not always a good thing.

As for time slipping away from me, I chatted to a few friends and family and it seems that I am not alone in my time being stolen. I was convinced that it's related to me getting older and did some research that did allude to this but wasn't very convincing to me.

I think that as we focus more on the here and now and notice and observe more, we tend to get lost in those moments and time passes by. Is that bad? No, because it allows us to truly live in those moments but because we always have so much to do, it can cause anxiety.

My solution is to still set out my daily tasks but to allow for more time for each and to reflect on each day based on what I enjoyed, not just what I achieved. I still want to get to a point of balancing my responsibilities better but I refuse to get panicky that I can't do a million things in a day. I would rather call my folks more often than get a room painted in a day.

Time is such a fickle beast, it can't be tamed but one can try to live in sync with it.

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